“Mettre de L’Eau Dans Son Vin”: This Classic French Phrase Can Transform Your Attitude (and Relationships!)
"Mettre de l'eau dans son vin" is a common French phrase that literally means "to put water in one's wine." The gesture is considered sacrilege by any fine wine enthusiast! Adding water to wine is the best way to spoil its taste and alienate winemakers and oenologists worldwide.
But don't worry, this phrase not about ruining a good glass of wine! It means to calm down and make compromises. It evokes the idea of calming down or showing moderation in one's attitudes and words, and making concessions.
When someone tells you to "mettre de l'eau dans ton vin," they are suggesting you should soften your attitude. It's like saying, "Take it easy" or "Cool down a bit."
So if you're in a heated argument, and things are getting tense, it encourages you to dial back your intensity and meet the other person halfway:
"Tu devrais un peu mettre de l'eau dans ton vin." (you should tone it down a bit)
You use this phrase in many situations where compromise or toning down is needed. It's for those moments when you or someone else might be getting a little too fired up.
A conversation with friends, a debate at work, or during a family dinner... Suggesting someone to "mettre de l'eau dans son vin" tells them to relax and be open to other viewpoints.
Why Water in Wine?
The practice of 'diluting' or 'cutting' wine was common in the Middle Ages. The goal was to make the drink less alcoholic, and therefore milder, more refreshing, and less likely to affect one's mood.
It was also a way to extend the 'shelf life' of drinking water at a time when clean water wasn't always available.
The phrase takes this old practice and turns it into a metaphor for easing up on strong emotions or opinions, and making your stance or reaction less intense.
"Mettre de l'eau dans son vin" broader uses
"Mettre de l'eau dans son vin" can also be used when talking about someone who's overall attitude has tamed down relative to someone else.
For example, imagine a man who was once known for treating his spouse harshly, rarely spending time with her, going all the time on "business trips", and having affairs. As he gets older, he starts to have a less disrespectful and careless behavior. You might then say:
"Avec l'âge, il a mis de l'eau dans son vin et il s'est rangé."
As he got older, he toned it down and settled down.
So, this phrase isn't just for making compromises in specific moments, you can also use it to describe a bigger change in someone's attitude.
Another example:
"Elle était très stricte avec ses enfants, mais elle a mis de l'eau dans son vin et elle est devenue plus souple."
She was very strict with her children, but she has toned it down and become more flexible.
Business context
In a political or business context, "mettre de l'eau dans son vin can mean "reducing one's ambitions" or "lowering one's expectations."
In this case, the phrase suggests an adjustment of wishes or demands, with the aim of reaching a compromise or facilitating an agreement.
"Le PDG a finalement décidé de mettre de l'eau dans son vin et d'accepter une augmentation des salaires."
The CEO finally decided to tone it down and accept a salary increase.
Related: "Calmer ses ardeurs"
In its primary sense, "mettre de l’eau dans son vin" means "tempering one’s anger", "keeping calm", or "containing one's emotions". In this sense, it's similar to "calmer ses ardeurs" (calm one’s ardor).
It is this definition of the expression that first appeared in the French language.
Related: "Revoir ses exigences à la baisse"
In the context of political or business negotiations, "mettre de l'eau dans son vin" closely aligns with the phrase "revoir ses exigences à la baisse". It means lowering one's demands or scaling back expectations to reach a compromise or agreement more easily.
